So I have cancer - 2

Have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. When they did the diagnostic MRI, I now apparently have cancer in my right breast. That's not what I'm reading in the notes, but IANAD.

I've been feeling really depressed. Don't want to do anything. Overeating and then not eating. When I do something it's not giving me joy. Somewhat teary every once in a while. Glad my video visit with the doc is tomorrow morning.

I want to review my meds and maybe try one month of the magical weight loss drug before surgery and medications that make me gain weight. They all make me gain weight. What's the point.

So I have cancer

Not a good beginning to the year. My Aunt died of breast cancer in early May. A card playing friend has breast cancer. My BFF's niece has colon cancer and it's seems pretty bad. She's very young, in her 20's, and has toddlers. She's getting the whole radiation/chemo for the foreseeable future.

In late March had a regular old mammogram. There were apparently some calcifications to they ordered a biopsy to snip some of those out and take a closer look. In April had the biopsy and it's cancer. It's apparently a very slow growing type.

I have appointments with the surgical oncologist and the medical oncologist late in June unless they can get me in sooner. Not fun at all. Even though it seems like a best case scenario for a cancer diagnosis my sense of stability is lower. I got a call yesterday to schedule the appointments and I've been pretty sad ever since. Didn't even remotely put the saddle on correctly, including a curled under part. Just wasn't focusing.

I'm going to schedule an appointment with Dr. Sharma to maybe up my depression meds. And maybe a session with my therapist? Or maybe just sit with this for a bit.

Estrogen Receptor (SP1)	Positive (95%, 2+ staining intensity)
Progesterone Receptor	Positive (95%, 2+ staining intensity)
Androgen Receptor	Positive (95%, 3+ staining intensity)
HER2 Herceptest IHC	Negative, 1+
Ki-67	Low Proliferation Rate (2-3%)
HER2 FISH	(Pending, to be reported under Human Genomics result tab, separately)
E-cadherin	Negative in invasive lobular carcinoma, LCIS and ALH.

Day 2 in Palm Springs

 Today was all about the Anza Borrego Desert State Park.

First stop was an attempt to view petroglyphs and "fish traps" archeological site. Neither the maps nor GPS were helpful. Made it to the alleged location, but there was what looked like a fancy ranch there and they had a fence that partly obscured the trail. Just spent some time looking at the satellite view and there is a ranch there but no buildings, just trees. And it looks like you just skirt the property without trespassing. I may try it again as it's not that far.

Lots of date palm farms along the way.

Then down to the Salton Sea. Didn't stop. Just viewed it from the highway. It's apparently not very inviting what with the toxic chemicals, dead fish, and flies. After a particularly strong rain or huge runoff hearty folks might swim in it.

Hung a right onto the interestingly named Borrego Salton Sea Way. Stopped at several places to view the signs (Badlands and Life in the Playa) and made it to Borrego Springs. For a desert town there are some things happening. At least two restaurants were active and there was 3 desert plant nurseries.

The highlight though are the metal sculptures by Ricardo Breceda scattered around town and in the playa around town. There are apparently over 100! I saw maybe 10 and thought that was pretty spectacular. My plan was to head to the Petroglyph trail but I had forgotten my hat and just wasn't feeling it.

Took a somewhat circuitous route back following 79 to Aquanga, 371 to 74 that drops down to the valley floor at Palm Desert.

Swam in the pool and lounged in the hot tub.

Day 1 in Palm Springs

 The flight was full and the airport was insanely busy. Per the gossip in the half hour line for a rental car there's a giant nurse's convention in town with a few thousand attendees. They're apparently leaving late Tuesday or sometime Wednesday.

I was upgraded to a Dodge Charger. It's electric blue and has a sun roof. I feel a bit sporty driving it. Tomorrow I'm taking a long loop trip to the Salton Sea and the Anza Borrego Desert. There will also be some metal sculptures somewhere along the way. And maybe petroglyphs.

The Art Museum is closed Monday and Tuesday so once I checked into the hotel, more on that later, I went to view the exhibit. Nothing blew my socks off. That's not to say that there wasn't some air stirring around them.

Picasso is a genius, no surprise to anyone. And he can draw a bull. They have a few minor pencil drawings and a few ceramics so it's not extensive. My favorites were the bulls and an owl ceramic.

Honorable mentions go to a piece that played with movement. Square blocks against finely striped background. As you walked by the blocks seemed to pulse. Love kinetic art. Interesting stuff in the Mythopoetica exhibit - graffiti type urban art, interesting colors in paintings including one that looked like it was painted on velvet or using that Vanta black. It was not painted on velvet.

I'm sorry to say that I intend to copy some of the art in my pottery, particularly the Picasso owl and cactus in the Mythopoetica exhibit. During dinner I started looking at paleolithic and other art owls for ideas. Owls are surprisingly popular and have varied meanings (wise, foolish, portent of death).

Requirements for Utopia

These are some thougths on a post-scarcity society

1. Everyone has greater than subsistence level access to food, shelter, health care, education/knowledge without working or contributing
2. Everyone is free to define their own lives
3. No one is subject to violence or coercion
4. Everyone is pleasant to "others" and must interact politely with others, even those who lead different lives
5. No inheritance other than the genetic and epigenetic legacy naturally given to children
6. The least possible restrictions always apply
7. Restrictions will be necessary to protect requirements, keep the peace, prevent pollution, and prevent harm
8. Workers in the food, shelter, education/knowledge, medical community are paid more than workers in any other economy
9. Markets bear all their own costs
10. Workers outside the UBI economy can never earn more than workers in the UBI economy
11. Knowledge is free and intellectual capital doesn't exist
12. Outcomes and metrics determine success

Assumptions

Life is nasty, brutal, and short. Tragedy of the commons. War. All humans can't be trusted to some extent (do you always put your shopping cart away?) and some humans can't be trusted at all and the rest of us need to be protected from them

Unknowns

How do we divide up remaining scarce resources? Who gets to live in the nice house overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge or Central Park or the lake and who doesn't? Who gets to go to the great concert and who doesn't? Who gets to own Picasso?

What do we do about lies and clinging to ignorance?

Barriers to Utopia

Entrenched interests, governments, religion

We haven't automated enough yet to free enough people from work...someone still has to wipe grandma's ass, teach young sociopath Timmy, and clean the sewers.

What happens if we have too many people with nothing to do and no purpose? Given the assumptions, we might end up with fat, drunken louts tossing garbage around.

Commando Chases Waves on the American River Confluence January 2017

Another of the many videos of Commando going completely insane due to waves.

Commando At Wright's Lake May 2018

Commando gets into a bit of trouble but eventually figures out how to get back to dry land.

Commando Shreds (A Pinecone) January 2019

It's not all biting waves for the hound. He also like to bite little bits off stuff and drop it on the ground. Thankfully he doesn't eat the stuff.

Union Valley Reservoir January 2019

Commando LOVES chasing and biting waves. He is a complete goober about it and will chase waves until he's too tired to stand.

Lyons Creek May 2018

Commando is exploring Lyons Creek in our hike May 23, 2018. Beautiful day.

Silver Fork August 2017

Commando exploring Silver Fork creek. Harry is nearby. This was from a small hike August 27, 2017.

Rattlesnakes

Went up highway 80 to 20 and Bowman Lake road. Hiked the little loop built by PG&E called the Sierra Discovery Trail. It's just short of a mile and follows a loop of the Bear River. Saw two, that's TWO rattlesnakes. The first one was by the river and Commando nearly stepped on it. The second one was very near the bridge on the "easy way" part of the trail. It was guarding its lunch squirrel and was very irritated that hikers kept passing by and interrupting it's lunch. Both snecks just wanted to be left alone and just gave us a brief rattle.